That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
