If i come over, it means nothing
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
