i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
