so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
