I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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