Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize