I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
