You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
