I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Rumble strips road head = magical
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
