Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
