Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
