i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
