Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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