can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just googled if crying burns calories
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
