My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
