it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
