And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Boobs speak an international language.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize