what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
