i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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