i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
