I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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