No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
