let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
