Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
