You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
