Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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