Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
