You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
