hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
