Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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