is your mom at the bar?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My ass is underappreciated
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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