If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
