So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
