I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
