Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Randomize
