If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
