David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
tell me about the fingering
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