Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
