I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
