actually, I'm a sock model
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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