yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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