Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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