I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
