What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
