I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
