there was a trapeze. enough said
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
