It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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