he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
