is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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