this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
