Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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