yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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