I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
