fuck your aforementioned shoe
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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