He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
