If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
