Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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