i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
