I showed him my bush... on skype.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize