loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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