is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
