Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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