I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
